not sleeping

I’ve never slept well the night before a big day. At some point, usually an insane early hour, I’m awake and unable to go back to sleep. I want to get the day started. I want the surprise, the answer, the present. As a kid Christmas was especially challenging. See, my parents didn’t let us wake up whenever we wanted to open presents. We had to wait. So even if I was up at 5am we couldn’t open presents until it was light outside. And when you’re impatiently waiting for something, what is the best thing to do? It’s to sleep. I envy Doug right now who is still sound asleep, oblivious to the fact that its 5:30 and it could easily be five more hours before we hear any news. His time is passing nicely, while mine is dragging.

We’re taking Matthew to the circus today.

Just kidding. While that is exciting what is keeping me awake is that Doug and I found a house. We found a house that we both absolutely love. And now we’re waiting. We’ve been looking since May, unable to find a house that we both loved. A couple times Doug or I would like a house, but the other one was not convinced. And now we feel like we’ve found it. To add to the drama, the owner already has one offer on the table. We gave them ours and hope that it’s good enough to end the other negotiations. Their realtor said we’d hear back today.

And so I wait, trying not to get my hopes up too high. The one thing holding me together is that I rest in the sovereignty of God; there is a proverb that says a man plans his ways but the Lord directs his steps. And I have clung to that verse the past three years, as we sold our house, planned to move to Turkey, started a family and decided we felt called to stay here and serve our church. We have never seen more than a few steps ahead, but because I know God is guiding us and leading us, I know we won’t mess this up. And if this isn’t the house I know there is a place God is calling us to live and he will guide us there. We didn’t mess around with our offer, and we’ll take whatever they counter offer if we are presented that opportunity. But I love my God more than I love this house. And I trust him more than I trust what I’ve seen for a few moments. I should trust him more than what I’ve seen my entire life; I’m working on that.

KITTY (grandma b can vouch)

Yesterday we headed to San Antonio to help Mom (B) set up her new computer. OK, Matthew and I went more to see people and for the trip to the outlet mall. One of the essential items we bought was a winter jacket for our trip to Vermont. We put it on Matthew in the store and it looked like he was wearing a trench coat; the sleeves hung way over his hands. It was the smallest size they had. He’ll be able to wear it for two winters. And since we could almost get away without this heavy jacket living in the south, I guess we’ll need to take a couple trips to really cold places. Any suggestions? Alaska? Canada?

And now on to the more exciting news…While we were sitting around the kitchen table talking Callie (the family cat) walked by. Matthew saw her and started to run after her and said something that definitely sounded like “kitty!” Grandma B called it and thus we have his first word. In keeping with words, Matthew now picks up a book and carries it to me to read to him. When we play in his room he’ll do this pretty often. I’m taking it as a sign that he enjoys reading. So far his favorites are “Squirrel is Hungry,” “The Foot Book,” and “Ten Tiny Tickles.” He’ll pick out others, but he’s brought these ones to me multiple times, especially that squirrel book. He’ll hand me the book and then flap his arms and grunt excitedly until I put him in my lap and then he puts his thumb in his mouth and leans back against me. Right now this is one of the few times when he cuddles.

We were out pretty late last night. Matthew wouldn’t lay still long enough to fall asleep, and since I didn’t have a way to confine him I just let him run around. He was still going at 10:30pm when it was time to leave. I wonder how long he could go before he just falls asleep. Maybe someday we’ll find out.

were we planning this?

For those who haven’t gotten the memo, I am 10 weeks pregnant. We found out two weeks before Matthew’s first birthday. The other day Doug made the comment to someone, “Yeah, I think we want to just pop three out, then adopt one and be done with it.” I think that sums up our perspective nicely. I have seen the benefit after spending time with Jude and Ezra of waiting. Jude is four years older than Ezra, who is almost three. When Ezra gets upset Jude possesses the maturity to help in diffusing the situation. You don’t get that kind of help when you have two kids under two. But Doug and I talked and feel like we’re still in the crazy baby phase so why not stay in it for a little while longer? We’re embracing the chaos!
We announced it at Matthew’s first birthday by having him open a shirt that said “big brother.”


I think the majority of people found out via facebook.

Every day Matthew wakes up with more and more energy. I love spending time with him, but am definitely thankful for nap times and bedtimes. At this point I try to get out of the house by 8:15am for my work out class, and stay out until at least 11am, when we come home for lunch and then nap. He does so much better when he’s able to be outside for a long time and there’s nothing he can’t get into. And on helping mom to not have a daily heart attack, Matthew finally understands to go down backwards over every ledge. He took a couple spills at a park last week going forward over some ledges. I think experience gave him some wisdom.

travel plans

In a month Bear will turn one year old. How crazy is that? Every day I feel like he wakes up with more energy. It is so fun watching him explore and figure things out. His new favorite game is putting things inside containers. His favorite toy is a racquetball container with the racquetballs. He is a little climber. If it has a ledge he will try to stand on it: a dishwasher, boxes on the floor, the bookshelf; it doesn’t really matter. He’s learned how to go down stairs, although every time he gets to a ledge he would like to go down forwards and still continues to do so. Bear and Sarah leave for Virginia on the 17th for thirteen days. Opa and Oma have some fun things planned, including a storytelling festival and the Neptune Festival. Matthew will also get to meet his great grandma for the first time. It will be the longest time away from DougyX in awhile. We’re all a little sad.

The airplane ride is probably the most concerning part of the trip. Bear isn’t quiet at the age where he can be entertained with quiet activities like reading a book or coloring. Nope, he likes to explore. And since he’s an expert walker, working on running it’s going to be a challenge for Sarah to keep him entertained.

On the home front, we’ve started looking again. We took a break over the summer and that seems to have worked in our favor. There are more houses in our price range. We think we’ve even narrowed it down to a neighborhood…But we’re still not sure getting locked into a mortgage right now is what we want. Currently we have complete flexibility to go where the Lord leads without the hassle of breaking a lease or selling a house (just in case).


Help me! My momma puts me in a crate! Just kidding. Today there was a pile of boxes blocking his way into the crate and he whined until we moved them out of the way. Whining. It plagues us. Whenever he wants something he whines now. When I’m eating something and don’t share, he whines. We’re working on teaching him to sign please right now. It doesn’t seem to be catching on.

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