I’ve never slept well the night before a big day. At some point, usually an insane early hour, I’m awake and unable to go back to sleep. I want to get the day started. I want the surprise, the answer, the present. As a kid Christmas was especially challenging. See, my parents didn’t let us wake up whenever we wanted to open presents. We had to wait. So even if I was up at 5am we couldn’t open presents until it was light outside. And when you’re impatiently waiting for something, what is the best thing to do? It’s to sleep. I envy Doug right now who is still sound asleep, oblivious to the fact that its 5:30 and it could easily be five more hours before we hear any news. His time is passing nicely, while mine is dragging.

We’re taking Matthew to the circus today.

Just kidding. While that is exciting what is keeping me awake is that Doug and I found a house. We found a house that we both absolutely love. And now we’re waiting. We’ve been looking since May, unable to find a house that we both loved. A couple times Doug or I would like a house, but the other one was not convinced. And now we feel like we’ve found it. To add to the drama, the owner already has one offer on the table. We gave them ours and hope that it’s good enough to end the other negotiations. Their realtor said we’d hear back today.

And so I wait, trying not to get my hopes up too high. The one thing holding me together is that I rest in the sovereignty of God; there is a proverb that says a man plans his ways but the Lord directs his steps. And I have clung to that verse the past three years, as we sold our house, planned to move to Turkey, started a family and decided we felt called to stay here and serve our church. We have never seen more than a few steps ahead, but because I know God is guiding us and leading us, I know we won’t mess this up. And if this isn’t the house I know there is a place God is calling us to live and he will guide us there. We didn’t mess around with our offer, and we’ll take whatever they counter offer if we are presented that opportunity. But I love my God more than I love this house. And I trust him more than I trust what I’ve seen for a few moments. I should trust him more than what I’ve seen my entire life; I’m working on that.

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